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Joke of the Day

"Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said ""car wash out of order."" So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap."

"One ovary was talking to another ovary.... Left Ovary: ""Better watch out!"" Right Ovary: ""Why?"" Left Ovary: ""There's two nuts out there trying to cram an organ in here."""

"I am a child molester just like my dad was a child molester. He rubbed off on me."

"There are 2 kinds of programmers Those who understand pointers and Segmentation fault (core dumped)"

"Let's begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone."

"I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there."

"Before I rush off to the bathroom to pee, I just wanted to tell you what a good friend you are to me. On a scale from 1 to 10... *urinate*"

"The best way to respond when a girl asks you if she's fat is to fake a seizure."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand Binary and those who don't. *Edit: ""If you have to explain the joke, there is no joke."" - Joker*"

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."