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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Why are you so out of breath? You drove here. Me: Yeah but I was listening to Slayer in the car."

"Why did the pervert cough when he was caught molesting a pony? He was feeling a little horse."

"[Dark] What is a Muslims favourite phone? Galaxy Note 7 (Exploding Variant) Just kidding it's an iPhone, you racist fuck. This joke has probably already been said before, so please up-vote."

"Godzilla, Mothra, and Battra all walk into a bar... The building owner must now pay $100,000 due to property damage."

"Whats red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry"

"I'm an atheist but if lightning struck Trump during his victory speech I'd become a monk."

"What do sex and air have in common? It's no big deal unless you aren't getting any. Heard on the radio."

"Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down? Triple, eh?"

"Where can you leave your dog when you shop? The barking lot."

"I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."