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Joke of the Day

"Three maxi pads walk up to a bar... ...a large, medium and a small one. Which one is the first to say something to the bartender? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts."

"Maybe if we press ""2"" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the ""1"" line."

"My friend got fired from his job selling industrial vacuum cleaners. It's cool though he said it sucked."

"Here's a joke about Ebola You probably won't get it though."

"If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong."

"Why are ska bands so clean? They always pick it up pick it up pick it up."

"""Now That's What I Call Soup!"" - Guy who came up with the name Now That's What I Call Music looking at yogurt"

"What do you mean pi r square? Pies are round"

"What do you call a drug dealing church? Crystal Methodists"

"[date gets back from the bathroom] those batman toys in the tub are so cute! How old are your kids? ""kids?"""