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Joke of the Day
"I told a fish joke the other day... It went swimmingly."
Next Joke
"Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick."
"A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: ""You can't park anywhere near this place!"""
"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts"
"Whelp. It's December. That time of year when I have zero excuse for being so sweaty."
"[On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] ""Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"""
"My wife is so much better looking than me... ...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries. Credit: Charles Demers"
"What is Russia's favorite type of pasta? Putinesca"
"The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car."
"*angrily whispering over crib* ""Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward."" ""But why do they need their own cribs?"""