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Joke of the Day

"Just took an acting class.... Now I'm qualified to be a soccer player"

"I thought about making a sex tape the other day... ...until I realized it would just be a Vine."

"We'll take these $75 baby shoes. No need for a shoe box. We'll just let him wear & outgrow them on the car ride home."

"Did you hear about the native American who tried to beat the world record for drinking the most tea? The next day he was found dead in his tea pee"

"If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?"

"How did the Reddit user read his newspaper? <ORIGINAL> He Reddit"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes."

"Why don't black people lay in the sun? ...because it's 92.96 million miles away."

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"

"Jerk chicken and pulled pork... The owner of my favorite restaurant was arrested for beastiality.. That explains why jerk chicken and pulled pork were the only two menu items."