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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a friend called Louise. If I did I would always be saying ""Jeez Louise"" to her. Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise."

"[Russian Joke] What will the results of the next election be? No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!"

"What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke? You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?"

"So there I was, balls deep in a jar of mayonnaise. When I said to myself, ""Self..."" ""I shoulda made a sandwich first."""

"I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around. They said no and slammed the door. My parents can be so rude..."

"SNL Gold: Domestic Violence A local county couple had an argument over a jar of salsa, which resulted in the girlfriend stabbing her boyfriend. But hey, you'd be mad too if he was jalpeno business."

"Why did the Jamaican go to Syria? To get stoned"

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. It's okay though she said we could still be cousins!"

"I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child. "

"What happened when five fat French men got in the lifeboat? Cinq."