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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call it when a book spies on people? A: A peeping tome."

"The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt."

"So if multiple cactus is cacti... NSFW Would a cat (animal) be cat-i?"

"the (please) fresh (lead) deli (me) sandwiches (into) at (woods) Walgreens (and) are (shoot) actually (me) pretty (in) good (head)"

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes."

"I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared."

"Why did the chicken cross the road twice? Because it was a double-crosser"

"Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way"

"Where do facts come from? The factory."