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Joke of the Day

"My professor asked me to give an example of a word whose definition got reversed. I literally had no answer."

"I rang the wife last night after work to say I'd pick up fish and chips on the way home. I was met with a stoney silence. Something tells me that she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins."

"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."

"Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road? he was two chickens"

"What do you call a hooker in winter? A snowblower."

"I show extra confidence at a job interview by giving a firm handshake before and after every question."

"What is the new fad diet for ghost developers? The Boolean."

"I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down."

"What happened at the cannibal's wedding party? They toasted the bride and groom."

"Facebook needs to add ""still banging my ex"" as a relationship status option"