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Joke of the Day

"My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right."

"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."

"I wear the pants in this family. It's so embarrassing when I go to Olive Garden, and the rest of my family is naked from the waist down."

"What did the Grapefruit basketball coach say to the worst player on the team? You're going to have to ci-tris one out."

"Bro lets study on air plane why air plane For a higher education"

"You do a lot of yoga? ""Yeah"" So you must be really...(winks) annoying"

"Did you hear about the problem at the Indian bread factory? Turns out it was a naan issue."

"This yogurt is so cultured, I can only eat it when I'm listening to Beethoven."

"What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope? A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different..."

"What floats, is very-very heavy and carries a variety of flavours as a payload? A *Souper*tanker! Simmer on that! - I say!"