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Joke of the Day

"I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :("

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"

"What's an Australian's favorite element? Gold"

"What's the worst part about seeing 4 black people go off a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac seats 5."

"What invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts"

"My friend is always looking for trouble... Which is good because he's a cop."

"How did the date go? -Not good. Aww what went wrong? -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type."

"Rihanna says, ""chains & whips excite me."" I doubt her ancestors felt the same way..."

"I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? Give her a shovel!"