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Joke of the Day

"I met this european guy last night who claimed he was a well endowed white supremacist Well, he said he was a hung aryan"

"[Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME"

"And on the eighth day, God let the dogs out. And there was much confusion among the Baha Men."

"what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws"

"I felt like a fool when I bought David Bowie tickets for my son and then remembered that he died last year... Even more so when I remembered that David Bowie died too."

"Why was Mr. Behaving sad? His daughter was always Ms. Behaving."

"Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*"

"Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"I never picked my nose. I was born with it."