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Joke of the Day
"""This is not a drill!"" -Lying electric drill that refers to itself in the third person"
Next Joke
"""...and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That's the last time we have Taco Bell."""
"What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night? Paddy O'Furniture"
"I have good news & bad news ""bad news 1st"" I died youre talking to a ghost ""OMG & the good news?"" I broke the world record for eating bees"
"What's the longest Island in New York? Long Island."
"I love you so much, I'll just sit at home and stare at my phone to make you notice."
"All the people that tried partying 'til the cows come home, are either stuck at home with a cow or dead from alcoholism."
"What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law? A Small Medium at Large"
"All Russian babies are born inside slightly larger babies."
"Q: What is long, black and stinks? A: The unemployment line"