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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, on a scale of 'Neo's mind in the beginning of The Matrix' and 'Neo's mind at the end', how free are you tonight?"

"Customer: ""I'm running Windows '95."" Tech: ""Yes."" Customer: ""My computer isn't working now."" Tech: ""Yes you said that."""

"I like my women like my chicken... White meat only."

"If u wear headphones Upside down...... will the sound be upside down too? HA!"

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. ""That's so cool"" says the bartender, ""where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" replies the parrot."

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!"

"[finds sock with hole in it] *gets angry* [puts sock back in same drawer] *repeats forever*"

"There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it."

"I used to work at an orange juice factory... ...I ended up getting fired because I couldn't concentrate."

"I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record... ...she called me a riceist"