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Joke of the Day

"I think that bisexual girls should just call themselves more-or-lesbians."

"What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure."

"BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out ""replace coworkers with puppies""] I guess"

"I just saw Iron Lady. Marvel really dropped the ball on that one..."

"why did the chicken cross the playground...... TO GET TO THE OVER FUCKING SLIDE, EH EH EH GEEEEEEET IT HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA *pulls the trigger"

"Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box? because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, ""lie to me!"""

"[restaurant] *patpatpat* ME: you hear that? *patpatPATPAT* DATE: what the [penguin bolts out of kitchen with a fish] CHEF: SOMEBODY STOP HIM"

"Common sense Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes"

"A slut's prayer: As I lay down with this creep, I pray he sticks it in real deep, If he comes before I do, I'll have to f*ck his best friend too."

"Maybe tomorrow I'll do that thing I said I'd do yesterday."