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Joke of the Day

"Jesus take the veal take it from my plate cause I can't eat this on my own I let myself go this maybe my last chance in my fight against obesity Jesus take the veal"

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear?"

"THE MERMAID WHY DID THE MERMAID WEAR SEASHELLS? BECAUSE SHE GREW OUT OF HER B-SHELLS !!! BADA BUM !!!"

"Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!"

"Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite"

"""Because Fuck you, that's why!"" is a perfectly legitimate response to any question."

"Does anyone else have a really hard time having a conversation on a carousel? I always feel like I'm talking in circles."

"My mother was feeling cold so now I'm wearing a sweater."

"Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"What's long and stylish and full of cats? The Easter Purrade!"