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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear?"

"About what time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Tennish"

"So a group of nerve cells are mingling for the first time. They look really nervous."

"How much for the vacation home? Sir, this is a coffin."

"What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers."

"Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up."

"Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work."

"Someone once told me ""If you love something, set it free"". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement."

"Today's menu: 1 gallon of attitude, 3 cups of sarcasm, 2 tbsp of leave me the hell alone, and a generous cup of shut the f*ck up!"

"What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday? Saturday Night Fever."