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Joke of the Day

"[text] ""Just saw this! I'd love to go to dinner!"" Him: That was 3 years ago, I have a wife & kid now. ""Bring 'em! Sister Wives is my jam!"""

"Three tampons are walking down the street.. A light, a regular, and a super tampon are all walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None. They are all stuck up bitches."

"There are three kinds of people in the world, Those who are good at math and those who aren't."

"Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets."

"What's Tinkerbell's favorite drink during ""that time of the month?"" A Bloody Fairy. Sorry everybody."

"Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times."

"Beer - tastes like I have friends Title."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? Migraine relief. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Yell again & they'll never find your body."

"Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I'm 100% behind you."

"At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both."