8706

Joke of the Day

"So I, (male) have a Girlfriend with a schoolgirl fantasy... The only problem is...I fell uncomfortable wearing the dress. Stole from the office. S3E21"

"squirrel probs"

"Me: They were out of tampons, so I got you a box of bandaids instead. Her:"

"""Have I made myself clear?"" Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass."

"I don't mind lesbians, actually. They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal."

"My friend wants to be frozen to 273.15C after he dies. But at least we know (_) ( _)>- (_) he was 0K."

"Why is [friend's name] always on the bottom? Because they won't stop fucking up"

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because it ain't murder if they had it comin'!"

"As a Brit I didn't believe Brexit could be Trumped But it seems that's exactly what's happened :("

"Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me."