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Joke of the Day

"A recent study states that people should only shower every 3-4 days. ""Stop being an idiot,"" said one wife who lives in my house."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin looks at the other and says ""Man its hot in here"" the other muffin looks back ans says ""Holy Shit a talking Muffin"""

"When taking your dog to the vet it's very important to remember to put your dog in the car."

"I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car But they're having trouble installing windows"

"My advice is to make money the old fashioned way (by intercepting Spanish galleons transporting gold from the New World)."

"Sometimes I wake up Grumpy... other times I let her sleep."

"""Yeah, engage your core or whatever."" - impersonal trainer."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"

"I would rather have Parkinson's than Alzheimer's Because it's better to spill half the glass than forget where you put the liquor."

"MTV has named Miley Cyrus the best artist of 2013. Kinda fitting I guess, since MTV has no idea what music is anymore..."