180375

Joke of the Day

"""Grandpa, why did everyone make a big deal out of selfies when they're just pictures, oh and thanks a lot for doing nothing about climate."""

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"How did the hipster burn their lips? They ate the pizza before it was cool"
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"wife: What's the best moment of your life? me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding"
"I've come to the conclusion that these Paul Walker jokes aren't funny... Cause I called his family and told them 5 of my BEST ones. They didn't laugh at ANY of them."
"What song title defines a redditor's love life? ""Left Hand Free"" By alt-J"
"[Me chasing 12 greyhounds round a race track] YOU'LL GET TIRED EVENTUALLY. THEN I WILL PET YOU!"
"I would make an alliance of agnostics... but I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"Why did Eeyore cross the road? To get to the other... *sigh*"
"Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it."