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Joke of the Day

"wife: What's the best moment of your life? me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding"

"Companies want ""rockstar"" employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment."

"How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too? Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)"

"My brother was born backwards... His nose runs and his feet smell."

"Why did Richard leave his home this morning? For Harambe."

"Where do seagulls live? Shit, wrong subreddit."

"How do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator."

"Saved a man from a speeding car Man: Can't trust anyone Me: True Man: Us old ones got to stick together Pushed him in front of the next car"

"I never knew so many 14 year old rednecks used reddit... Then I found r/The_Donald"

"Maybe Adele is singing about her cats. You don't know."