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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba-divers go in backwards? Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat."

"Sharks don't sleep so I'm pretending I'm a shark except one that sings along with Lady Gaga. I'm Lady Sharkshark! Anyway, totally drunk."

"Why did Hitler take suicide? Because of the lethal gas bill."

"I feel ripped off. I was with a bunch of kids today and not one of them said anything even remotely darndest."

"What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner."

"Yogi Bear: You gonna eat that? Hiker: THAT'S A BABY. YB: And I'm a talking bear. Hiker: YB: Hiker: YB: So where are we on that baby?"

"I found out my vacation to Greece is tax deductible Apparently it falls under charity work"

"How do you make Holy water? You boil the Hell out of it."

"What do women and penny stocks have in common? If you hold on to them too long instead of pumping and dumping them, you'll lose all your shit."

"100 years ago, 19 white men chasing down a black man was called the Klu Klux Klan Now it's called Formula 1 *Ku Kluk Klan"