180162

Joke of the Day

"She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae."

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."

"What fruit makes you confused? Papayas See, you're confused right?"

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!"

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"Why didn't the ghost go to the dance party? Because he had no-body to dance with."

"My dream car is shaq wearing heelys holding me up by my hips like simba"

"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."

"Why shouldn't you take away a hobos shit? It might be his lunch."

"Blind guy: I love this half-sandwich restaurant. Me: What do you mean? This place only serves whole- Service dog: *puts a paw on my lips*"