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Joke of the Day
"I bought a Lamborghini that tells dark jokes It goes from 0-100 real fast"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend is like Christmas.. Only comes once a year."
"""I'm THIRSTY!"" ""Can I have a drink?"" ""DAAAAAAAAD!"" ""I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!"" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God."
"The other day I asked my wife to hand me the news paper. She said, ""Silly you, just use my Ipad.""... That spider had no fucking idea what hit it."
"A is a Canadian's favourite chord.. ..but Am is a pedophile's."
"A haunted house would be pretty scary if it was filled with light switches that accidentally turned on the garbage disposal."
"My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song."
"WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. Mew. Mew. WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. MRRROOW! HSSSSS! MRRROOW! HSSSSS! FUCK! HE'S AN INSIDE CAT!"
"Guys.You can't make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me"
"Never trust somebody with a degree in child psychology to cut your kid's hair. They're therapists who'll groom your children."