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Joke of the Day

"A goldfish is a great pet if you're wanting to be forced to explain death to your toddler sometime within the next 48 hours."

"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? A tire!"

"I like to sit and stare at the Chinese take out menu for an hour and then order the exact same thing I did the last 20 times."

"Made a sex robot out of the Xbox and now I'm at the free clinic getting this red ring of death looked at."

"What is a penguin? A swallow who ate after 6pm."

"Beer makes you smart. It made Bud wiser."

"I was born in the USA... ..some parts imported from China, though."

"You can make fun of the Amish all you want on the Internet They'll never see it!"

"My high-school wrestling coach called me ""the raccoon"" cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease"

"""What's a good gift for someone who has everything?"" Meth. Next year they'll have nothing it'll be easier."