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Joke of the Day

"If these walls could talk, I bet it would sound like someone was trapped in the wall and we'd all freak out pretty bad."

"John Oliver ? that guy's so last week"

"If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then you gotta ask yourself Why the fuck is there a duck in my room?"

"Wow she actually noticed me! Time to pick a different tree."

"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."

"Knock Knock - Who's there? Joana. Joana who? I Joana close my eyes, I Joana fall asleep 'cause i miss you babe and i don't wanna miss a thing."

"Welche vier Flusse kennt jede Blondine? Rhein, Inn, Main, Po"

"Where did the engine go after he retired? To live in a motor home"

"The south was reported to have more Ashley Madison users than any other region in the U.S. I guess family isn't always enough."

"What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone? Baaaaasalt"