180005
Joke of the Day
"Joke's on you, jerk that sold me oregano instead of weed. I was going to make pizza sauce anyway."
Next Joke
"TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)"
"They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer."
"I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone."
"How many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? We'll get on it next week"
"A kid asks his Dad ""what does 'gay' mean?"" The father says ""It means 'to be happy."" The son asks ""Are you [gay!](http://www.afterfeed.com/)?"" The father says ""No, son. I have a wife."""
"How can you tell that God is a man, and not a woman? If God were a woman, she would have made semen taste like chocolate!"
"A little boy says ""dad I've heard in some parts of africa a man doesn't know his wife until marriage. The dad says...... ""Son that happens everywhere."""
"What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump."
"What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?? ""Meowch!"""