18

Joke of the Day

"My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!"

"How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!"

"""Doctor, how bad is it?"" ""I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."""

"I believe the children are our future and they should be praised and nurtured because they are the bus drivers and cabbies of tomorrow, and I drink a lot."

"What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's"

"Ban pre-shredded cheese... Make America grate again!"

"Can any of you read your Chinese food bill? Looks like they charged me for a chicken lo-mein, a python, Africa, and a diet Coke."

"What is Imperator Furiosa's least favorite type of ice cream? Rocky Road."

"With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia."

"What did the underweight onion say to the garlic? No more light bulb jokes!"