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Joke of the Day
"What does a dog have in common with a near-sighted gynecologist? They both have wet noses."
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"To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!"
"Did you hear about the guy who drunk brake fluid everyday? He's ok he can stop whenever he wants."
"I queued up for ages to get cod earlier... ...but they sold out, so I got a battered sausage instead."
"Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head."
"What letter is like a vegetable? The letter P."
"Paddy says, ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""Bugger that!"" says Mick. ""Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"""
"A feminist asked me how I saw lesbians. Apparently *in HD* wasn't the right answer."
"There's a new study out from the Department of Education... It shows that two thirds of Americans don't understand fractions and the other half don't care."
"What do you call a man with a very long, pointy penis? Lance. I'll see myself out."