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Joke of the Day

"I saw a huge spider wearing a turban and carrying an AK-47 yesterday and I shit myself. I'm guessing I have Iraqnophobia."

"I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now."

"A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face."

"I invented a new joke I invented a new word. Plagiarism. EDIT : This joke was invented by me and copyrighted. Dare to take it and a lawsuit shall find you."

"Catch a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish (read the rest as Groucho Marx) and you'll never see him on the weekends."

"I always play Jenga on a first date That way girls know my pull out game is strong"

"Watching the Olympics. Me: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING! GOLD MEDAL! Announcer: Ohhh! Not a good performance, those scores will not be pretty."

"Roses are red violets are glorious. You should never surprise Oscar Pistorius!"

"Unscramble these words! 1.) PNEIS 2.) HTIELR 3.) NGGERI 4.) BUTTSXE Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?"

"Q: What's pink and red and can't turn round in a corridor? A: A baby with a javellin through its head."