17979

Joke of the Day

"Well this should spice things up. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me."

"What did one asbestos tile say to the other asbestos tile? Your my asbestos friend"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy!"

"What breed will Donald Trumps dog be if he wins the election? A Border Collie"

"Sometimes I get down on my knees and pray for a pigeon to fly directly into my mouth"

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"A mother called the police on her 6 month old baby for not taking a nap. He was resisting a rest."

"A good name for a dog would be syndrome. Because then you could say down, syndrome. -courtesy of norm macdonald ;)"

"Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on"

"What do you call a Russian road with a KFC and lots of prostitutes? The Road of Bones"