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Joke of the Day

"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US Leader"

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender."

"I don't need a drink in my hand to be happy. I'm also happy if the drink is on a table as long as it's still within arm's reach."

"old folks home whats 50ft long and smells like piss..??line dance at an old folks home.."

"I feel I'm at my most culturally sensitive when I call Dell tech support and don't scream, ""What the fuck are you saying?"""

"Is that a cop behind me? No, just a car with a bike rack. Or maybe it's an undercover cop with a bike rack? -Weed"

"My dyslexic brother made ginger bread yesterday. Poor Tyrone.."

"Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before."

"Watching The Bible. Didn't realize everyone spoke w/ a British accent back then. Neat."

"During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel."