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Joke of the Day

"Genius move, Romeo & Juliet, for killing yourselves instead of getting married and spending the rest your lives wanting to kill each other."

"Why do women only use putters while playing golf? Because women can't drive."

"A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter. How dairy.."

"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."

"Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing..."

"Skinny girls look good in tight clothes.. butt curvy girls look good naked"

"Q: What do you call counterfeited German currency? A: Question marks."

"Joke's on you skinny people, my iPad fits just fine in my back pocket."

"Why is the Pharaoh a rare tuba player? Because he Toots Uncommon."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You may have thought 'Rrrr', but it's really the C"