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Joke of the Day

"I want to start a show about businesses in my neighborhood called, ""HOW IS IT STILL OPEN??!"""

"My wife went to see a spiritualist last week. I asked her ""how did you rate her?"" She said ""medium."""

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney."

"Me:I think I just saw the main guy from Transformers you know, ol' what's his name Friend: Shia Lebouff Me: Yeah, the one whose a truck"

"I'm going to have to rethink my time machine rental business. People keep bringing them back a day before they rented them."

"God wasn't trying to get Marry pregnant with Jesus. Turns out he was wearing a holey condom."

"Guess what Spain is Chicken anus"

"What's the worst thing about being an atheist? You have no one to call to when you're having an orgasm."

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"Why was the Winemaker arrested Because he was a serial grapist!"