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Joke of the Day
"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."
Next Joke
"Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10? Because Windows 7 8 9!"
"Girls with long nails explain to me your life. Like, do you not touch things? Do you enjoy dirt?"
"I thought a Vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... ...but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."
"I'm a wealth of knowledge Unless you want it to be true Then I'm pretty solid on about 6 topics 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors"
"[buying a wood chipper] ME: So does blood splatter everywhere when a body goes in? SALESMAN: What? ME: What?"
"Bet you I can guess how much she weighs. She's about one... FAT BITCH!"
"How do you make a dead baby float? Nail a piece of styrofoam to its head."
"Does anyone know what happened to Operation Baby? Last i heard, they had to abort."
"Nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of people? Imagine everyone is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt"