179599

Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar With a steering wheel attached to his belt. Confused, the bartender asks the man ""Hey buddy, what's up with the wheel?"" The pirate replies ""Aaaargh, it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"A man purchases a new dress for his wife... ...he goes home as fast as possible so he can give it to her before fashions change."

"I've lost more friends to Candy Crush than Crystal Meth."

"KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it"

"[NSFW]Honey, I bought flavored condoms... - ... switch off the lights and guess the flavor! - Sardines with cheese! - Wait for me to put it on!"

"There's a moron in every office. They usually get paid more than you."

"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."

"You don't like her? Drink more."

"You know what is intense? Camping. Is intense."

"What is the cheapest date ever? Drive in reverse trough the mcdrive, so the checkout is on her side."