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Joke of the Day
"The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads."
Next Joke
"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having a brain, gives me hope for our next generation."
"What if Toyota's problems with sticky accelerators were traced back to a pedalmaker who forgot to wash his hands after eating a honey bun?"
"There's awkward, and then there's listening to a man try to have a conversation with his hairdresser."
"Somewhere in Russia, a little kid farted a half beat before the meteor blew out all the windows. It was the greatest moment of his life."
"Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list..."
"[1st date] DATE: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French ME [leans across] Oh really? DATE: Yes"
"Whenever there's an awkward silence, try whispering, ""Did you forget your line?"""
"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"
"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet."