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Joke of the Day

"Why does Santa never visit Jewish families on Christmas? Jew's houses dont have chimneys, they already fell for going into a house with them once! [NSFW]"

"How do you get a fat girl into your bed? Piece of cake."

"At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor."

"Why is oxygen like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"""Blow me."" -Soup."

"Spell ""pound"" in two letters. Lb."

"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! !!!!"

"i have an iq of 152 so actually its not ""dumb"" that im trapped in this tiny slide for children"

"Mom mom! Is light edible? Because I just heard dad tell our neighbour to turn it off so he could shove it down her throat"