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Joke of the Day

"First date Him: What do you do? Me [pulls out a Victoria's Secret catalog that I've clearly glued photos of my face into] ""I'm a model."""

"I think my dog is gay because he wags his tail every time I suck his dick."

"The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg."

"In a village full of hipsters no one ever lied. Because hips don't lie."

"There was a documentary on TV about animal abuse. I felt lonely watching it by myself, so I made my dog watch it with me. Whether he wanted to or not."

"Congratulations, outspoken atheists! You've made not having a religion into your religion!"

"Science Joke :) Two scientists walk into a bar. Bartender: So what would you two like? Scientist 1: I'll have some H2O. Scientist 2: I'll have some H2O too. (H2O2)"

"The word ""nothing"" is a palindrome. ""Nothing"" reversed is ""Gnihton"". Which also means nothing."

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? If it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"

"My girlfriend is really into space... So I've started calling my junk the ""Pillar of Creation""."