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Joke of the Day

"When I hear my boss coming over to my desk, I mask my body's heat signature with mud and sit still hoping she won't see me."

"""sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"" ""officer, I'm..."" *turns to camera* ""double jointed"" *cop starts breakdancing*"

"All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel so blessed...I don't have ugly children."

"Multiple Choice Question Which of the following is a dangerous disease? A)Bola B)Bola C)Bola D)Bola E)Bola"

"I'll bet if you whined a bit more about gas prices, the big oil companies will brings the prices down."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? An addictionary Alternatively: High definition"

"Paranoid? Nope. I'm just trying not to crash in case someone has replaced the airbag in my car with a boxing glove on a spring."

"If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down."

"A law student walks into the bar... ...and passes with flying colors."

"So there's a man driving through the desert. He had... Sorry about pastebin link, the joke was too long for Reddit. http://pastebin.com/x6yZM6UM"