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Joke of the Day

"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes"

"SON: Daddy, where do tweets come from? DAD: Well, son...when a Desire for Validation and a Character Limit love each other very, very much."

"My Day is Going to be a Small Celebration to a Nordic God It'll be a Loki Day"

"Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The thieves said 'give me all your dough.'"

"Kleptomaniacs really don't understand jokes Because they always takes things literally."

"[1st day in heaven] God: Welcome! Have a taco and a shot of tequila. Do you like music? Me: Yeah. G: How about a little, *giggles* Nirvana?"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to fix the bulb and one to hold the penis. edit: LADDER I MEANT LADDER"

"I was walking though a forest With a young girl the other night and she said ""I'm scared"" I said ""Your scared, I've gotta walk back on my own"""

"Do you know why Petyr's last name is Baelish? Because he is the liege of Baes. ^I'll ^see ^^myself ^^out."

"There's currently a thin shell of space, hurtling through the solar system at 67,000 mile per hour, in which boners must be blurred. ""Japan"""