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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go tick, tick, tick? A: ""Ve have vays of making you tock!"""

"A schmooze.... ...what Sean Connery calls an afternoon nap"

"The first time I spent the night at my girlfriend's house, her father would not let us sleep together... ...which is a shame because he was very attractive."

"I just applied for my medical marijuana certificate. Reason: Joint pain."

"What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)"

"All the Prince jokes here Who the fuck is/was Prince."

"Yo you guys ever try hanging out with people you like who also like you? Shit's dank af"

"Did you hear about the boy born without eyelids? The doctors said they could give the boy eyelids made out of his foreskin. The only problem is that he would be a little cockeyed."

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane? Soon to be detained for flying home to his family in Houston after a business trip."

"I hate jokes that don't make sense... ...and boy are my arms tired!"