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Joke of the Day

"The first time I spent the night at my girlfriend's house, her father would not let us sleep together... ...which is a shame because he was very attractive."

"I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus That's how I lost my job as a bus driver."

"[at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* ""No...why do you ask?"""

"Whats green, has six legs and if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A snooker table"

"What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!"

"What's the difference between a dilapidated, run down bus stop and a big breasted lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."

"a guy jacks off with pictures of his girlfriend he realized they were blank"

"Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing."

"I'm going to skip home tonight because sometimes life is seriously brilliant. *throws confetti*"

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnut? w' jammin it"