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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mouse eat a candle ? For some light refreshment!"

"My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses."

"Whenever I talk about me and friend doing something, it's a good bet that my friend is actually a pizza."

"What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence."

"The secret service found a dildo in the Oval Office Signing off on another executive order."

"My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is"

"Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years? Someone lost a quarter."

"People say that money is not the key to happiness... ...but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers"

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9? Because 7 - 8 - 9."

"The main reason I'm single is because every woman I date tries to hoard the red skittles & I'm not cool with that shit."