15079

Joke of the Day

"I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words."

"God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"""An apple a day takes Billion Dollars away"" ~ Samsung"

"I was gonna make a gay joke... Butt fuck it..."

"Me: ""I feel like I'm 90 years old."" My Skin: ""Let's go through puberty again."""

"The dumbest joke in the world Q: What's a Christian's least favorite typeface? A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil."

"How does a Jewish man know his wife died? Well, the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up."

"A woman in her seventies overhearing that I was a tattoo artist asked if I wanted to see her ""rat"" tattoo. I said sure. She revealed a bare hip and said ""Oh, I guess my pussy must have ate it"""

"I'm a failure as a sociopath. I'm just not very good at manipulating and taking advantage of people. I'm more of a so-sopath."

"Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar... ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final."