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Joke of the Day

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"How do you get four old ladies to shout ""Fuck""? Get the fifth one to yell, ""Bingo!"""

"Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck"

"I just swallowed a little hair color. I think I'm going to dye."

"Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip"

"What do you call a very small villain? The Antagonist"

"Lots of road accidents are caused by bad weather It snow joke"

"The human race won't go extinct when our blood turns into high fructose corn syrup Our demise will come when hummingbirds figure it out"

"I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour. And call it Obsessive Disorders Control."

"Bad religious joke I created. One day Jesus is talking to god and says, ""Hey dad, guess what I did today?"" God: ""What?"" Jesus: ""I walked on water."" God: ""No way."" Jesus: ""Yahweh!"" Badum, tss"