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Joke of the Day

"I don't mean to sound like a tough guy but I've been in New York City for almost two hours and I've only cried like 31 times..."

"Islam is.. ..a religion of peace"

"So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork... But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were... Fruitless."

"Entered a competition with 10 of my best puns thinking at least one would win.... No pun in ten did. Sorry if thats been said. It's just my favorite pun and I thought I'd share it."

"Wife: [looking out of window] Go and talk to our son. He's outside looking forlorn. Me: [goes outside] *points to grass* it's there u prick"

"If you want to change your life significantly just walk to the Mercedes-Benz 600 standing at the junction, take a brick and throw it into the windshield."

"Is Google a he or a she... Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it wont let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas."

"What kind of Pop do you cook with? Baking Soda"

"somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman"

"Great deals on circumcisions, Half off!"