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Joke of the Day

"Wife: [looking out of window] Go and talk to our son. He's outside looking forlorn. Me: [goes outside] *points to grass* it's there u prick"

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"Happy Womens Day They say a womans work is never done... Perhaps that's why they're paid less?"
"I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters"
"What did the surgeon say to his constipated patient? Cut that shit out!"
"What organ in the body never dies? THE LIVER. ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully."
"What vehicle do bicycle riders take to the hospital? An Ambulance Armstrong"
"[ordering cake over phone] ""and what would you like the cake to say?"" [covers phone to ask wife] ""do we want a talking cake?"""
"My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt."
"You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back."
"Kindness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting."
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