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Joke of the Day

"My sex life is so complex the biggest part is the imaginary one"

"Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field."

"What's the most important part of a Taliban joke? The execution!"

"Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift."

"Why did Hillary Clinton cross the road? (probably offensive) 9/11"

"weed is a gateway drug. cocaine's a compaq drug. ecstasy is made by hp. heroin is from the guys that do the plastic computers in model homes"

"So my fiancee rolls over, wakes me up, and says, ""honey, your alarm is going off."" I say..... ""pics or didn't happen."""

"I wanted to study metallurgy at University But I didn't get the grades"

"BARBER: would you like a hot towel? ME: buddy, I don't objectify towels"

"I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven't pooped it out yet, I'm really scared you guys."