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Joke of the Day
"*shoots self in foot* ""Damn i like the metaphor better"""
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"I'm capable of having female friends. We can totally snuggle naked and I won't try anything funny."
"What do you get if you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?"
"What does a German soccer player call his cleats? Das Boots"
"My friend just fucked his 14 year old escort. So, does anyone here know how to fix a 2002 Ford? It's pretty messed up from the event."
"What is an adulterers favorite snack? Cheetos."
"sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something"
"she wears short skirts I eat pizza she's cheer captain and I'm still eating pizza"
"Only a few of you have figured out that in every tweet I've ever written I've been subtweeting Pitbull."
"Q: What has got four legs and an arm? - A: A Rottweiler in a playground."